Beyond 254

Is High School Really Over?

Sorry I have been so behind on my blog postings. I am working on some new changes for Beyond254 that I will be unveiling within the next couple of months, so I have been really busy. But, I wanted to take time to comment on an article I just read today on a Wall Street Journal Blog called "The Juggle." The title of the article was Meritocracy or "Mean Girls." How Important is Office Popularity? The article really spoke volumes to me, because this explains the environment at my current workplace. As I was reading this article, it felt like I was reading about my company. Also, I read some of the readers' comments and it mirrors what I am going through. The gossiping,  jealousy, back-biting and back-stabbing is very common where I work. Also, swearing is commonplace. The management team in my department does not even try to hide the fact that they play favorites. I remember after working at my current company a few months, we had a team dinner with one of the clients we were working with. I do not drink, so naturally I did not order a drink with my dinner. After the dinner, I went to the restroom and a female manager followed me. While we were in the restroom, she questioned my choice of not drinking and then she said something that totally shocked me. She said, "You do not drink, how are you going to fit in with the group?" I was so stunned I could not even come back with one of my sarcastic one liners. I was literally speechless!

I really feel that high school is never over. It is amazing to me that some adults can be so immature and let pettiness cloud their judgment. I guess that is why starting my own company is so important to me, because I want to be free of these toxic environments. So, what are your thoughts? Does this sound like your office environment? Let me know, I would love to hear from you.

Tip of the day - To cope with my toxic environment, I have found a few good, like-minded people on my job that I interact with. Also, whenever I feel that someone is trying to pull me into a toxic conversation, I try to change the subject or find an excuse to walk away. Until you can escape, just bear with it, try out these tips and just know that one day you will be free of this environment.

Maybe I Spoke Too Soon

Just when I thought the drama was over, more turmoil developed from that horrible project I just completed. Another component to this project, which we are still working on, started taking on a life of its own. This component was not supposed to be as stressful as the first phase we just completed. The first phase was more complex and difficult. Even after accomplishing a major hurdle, the end users on this project would not let me enjoy a little bit of peace and success. Some of the end users started complaining today about not having enough meetings for the second phase and just when I thought all the chaos was over. Sometimes these people make a mountain out of a mole hill. It goes to show you that in Corporate America, there is always something. Of course, anything you do will have challenges, but at least when you are your own boss you are involved in something you enjoy. When you are doing something you love, the challenges are not as frustrating. When you are working at a job you hate, the challenges can be very difficult to deal with. I bring a book of scriptures that I read whenever I get frustrated. It helps keep me uplifted. Of course, the challenges are still there, but it helps me deal with them a little better.

Being Tested

During these last few weeks, I have been stating how things are getting better since I had a shift in attitude. The books I have been reading have helped me change my outlook on things and taught me how to handle tough situations. Well these last couple of days, I have gone through a testing period to see how my new attitude can stand up to difficult situations.

Yesterday, I had a major disagreement with one of my colleagues on a conference call. The stress on this particular project was building up for the last couple of weeks and it finally came to a boiling point yesterday. After the call, I was "totally done" and I had enough. We had another call later that afternoon and I was still frustrated after the call earlier that day, that I kept quiet. When I went home yesterday, it was very hard for me to get my mind off of work, but I did not complain about the situation to family and friends. Later that night, I prayed and went to bed thinking that this was behind me. Well today, early this morning, I got hit with more bad news, our company announced pay cuts for all employees. All I could do was chuckle to myself and just be thankful that we did not get laid off. Just when I thought it was all over, I heard that the colleague that I "butted heads" with was still complaining (behind my back of course). Due to all the stress from yesterday and today, I decided to have a long lunch. After I ate, I noticed that my stomach felt queasy. So to top this day off, I became ill later this afternoon. Even though I went home early, I still managed to attend all my meetings. On the way home, something happened, it seemed like that negative energy was broken. It feels like it literally broke off in small pieces and flew off my body. I felt free. I was able to forget about all the problems from work. Yesterday I had a hard time shaking things off, but today, after all these troubles, I started to feel a sense of peace. Even now, as I write this, the anger and fear are gone. I am not angry at my co-workers and I do not feel a sense of fear about the upcoming pay cuts. I know that better days are ahead and God has a wonderful plan for my life.

I feel these troubles came in order to "test" me and apply all the knowledge that I have learned. How can you have a testimony without a test? Also, these situations help push and propel me to my destiny. Now I have an even stronger desire to escape Corporate America. One of my goals is to do some freelance writing. I intend to start doing some freelance writing; in addition I plan on looking for contract work. These are small steps to help me move toward my goal of escaping Corporate America.

Tip of the day: When you go through troubles and stress, you will experience some anger and discomfort at first, but do not wallow in it. Negative energy will hinder you from seeing things clearly. If your mind is clouded, how will you know what direction to take to reach your goals and dreams?

Topic for Today’s Meeting – Your Personal Life

The other day, I was sitting in my cubicle and I overheard two of my co-workers talking to each other about the marriage of another colleague. They were talking about the personal details of this guy’s marriage. I mean very personal details and issues that are plaguing his marriage. Now granted, this guy should not have divulged his personal life to his co-workers, but they did not need to gossip about it. The only reason I heard all this is because my cubicle is right outside their office. They were talking loud enough that I could hear everything. They were not even whispering or trying to hide it. This is why I keep my mouth shut at work and only divulge what I want them to know, not what they want to know. I rather remain a mystery than be the subject of office gossip.

Why Can’t You Do Your Own Work?

Have you ever worked with someone who has time to meddle in your assignments or projects, but can’t get their own work done? I am currently going through this situation.

Last month, I sent a document to one of our director’s for her approval. In order to move forward with this project, we need her approval, but for some reason, she has not reviewed the document. Even after many requests, she has not moved forward. She does not have time to finish her work, but she has time to meddle in my projects. She has a history of being delinquent on requests. A while back, there was another document that needed her approval and it took THREE months until we received approval. The document was only seven pages! Then, what really irritated me, not long after she approved it; she started pressuring our team for status. I felt like saying, “If it did not take you three months to approve this document, this project would be a lot further along.” But, I kept my mouth shut, because I might need to use this statement in a much more pressing situation. I always say know when to choose your battles. Without her approval, we are at a standstill and everyone knows this. But no one seems to be bothered. I wonder what would happen if I held a document for three months, would everyone be so understanding.

Do I Really Want to be Part of this Conversation?

I read a Dear Abby column recently, about a woman who does not like to participate in office chit-chat and gossip. This was of interest to me, because I am currently facing the same situation on my job. Because I do not participate in office gossip, I wonder if my co-workers think of me as anti-social and snobbish.

I have been able to make friends and acquaintances at prior companies, but for some reason, at my current company, it has been a little difficult. Some of the people in my department like to backbite and gossip about other co-workers. I think this type of gossip is mean-spirited and in my opinion childish. I also think it creates a toxic work environment. But when they are not gossiping, they are usually complaining or discussing things that are of no interest to me. So trying to join in something that does not interest me is rather difficult. I try to make some effort to participate in some conversations, but I think the damage is done and I feel that the only reason they are polite to me is because we have to work together. Dear Abby’s advice to the woman is “we usually get what we give in life.” I try to be nice, but I do not think that is enough. Since, I am not good at being fake and pretending, it has been a little tough. I do admit that I am kind of shy, so I usually do not approach people. Also, I am not getting a good vibe from some of these people, so it has been difficult to make connections. I am not trying to make excuses, because I really would like to improve in this area. I have started doing little things and started chatting about topics that might be of interest to everyone. In addition, I found a couple people that share some of my interests. It will take time, but hopefully I can make some effort in this area and improve the environment for my sake.

Watch Your Back!

You have always been told to watch your back when walking alone at night or in a dark parking garage. If you don’t, a stranger can come from behind and attack you. But, it is worse, when we have to watch our back at work. To protect ourselves, from people we know, who could cause us harm.

During the last couple of months, I have been working on a very important project. The sponsor of this project is one of our department directors. From the beginning of this project, the completion date was listed as the beginning of the month. While on a conference call, I discovered that the deadline was actually the end of the month. In order to obtain some clarification, I sent an e-mail to the Director asking her the proper end date; she e-mailed me back a response detailing the reason for the different dates. I assumed all was good and did not give this much thought any more. But a few days later, my assumption that “all was good” turned out to be wrong and revealed a more sinister turn of events. Unbeknownst to me, a simple e-mail about a date clarification was used by this person to somehow sabotage me. This woman went behind my back to my director stating that I was not serious about this project, because of this question I asked. The only reason I found out, was because my manager told me. When I found out, I was livid. I thought this person was one of the few decent people working at this company. She went straight to my department director (she did not even go to my manager, she went straight to the higher level) about an assumption that was not even true. In order to follow proper protocol, I told my manager my side and sent her a copy of the e-mail. No where in the e-mail did it state that I would “slow-up” on this project because of the later end date. Nor did my actions suggest that I was not taking this project seriously. Now, someone looking at this from the outside could say that I was doing something else that helped her draw this conclusion. But, I was talking to her on an almost daily basis and holding conference calls with the team weekly concerning the status of this project. So, I do not know how she came to the conclusion that I was not serious. But, I did learn some things from this experience:

• Save all your e-mails – You never know when a situation will arise where you will need proof of your actions.
• After a verbal conversation, follow up with an e-mail to summarize what was discussed.
• Make sure to document and date all incidences. Also, during meetings of any kind, take notes and make sure to include the date.
• Once a backstabber has been identified, make sure to copy your manager on all correspondence to this person.
• Keep all your personal and private matters to yourself, you never know if you are confiding with a decent person or a backstabber/gossiper.