Have you ever been to a party or social function and the first thing someone asks when they walk up to you is, “What do you do for a living?” Another popular follow up is, “Who do you work for.” By asking these questions, its like people are trying to define and stereotype you by what you do and who you work for instead of getting to know the person inside.
I use to be one of those people who defined themselves by the company they worked for. Right out of college, I was recruited by one of the biggest and admired companies in America. Whenever someone asked me who I worked for, I would state my company name proudly, as if it were a badge of honor. Even my family members bragged about the company I worked for. In addition, I used to be caught up in job titles as another extension of oneself. Then one day, in May 2000, the unthinkable happened, I was laid off. I was totally devastated. Of course the fear of losing my income was terrifying, but the thought of losing my identity was disastrous. I made the mistake of looking to my job to identify me, instead of developing my own identity. During that time of unemployment, it felt like a piece of my soul died. I felt so much shame and embarrassment; I isolated myself from family and friends. But now that I look back, I realize that lay off taught me not to look toward a job or company to identify me. The last few years have been enlightening. It feels like my soul has been awakened. I have been learning a lot by going to church and have been delivered from looking for a company or job title to complete me. It feels so uplifting to know that I will always be me no matter what company I work for. A job title does not define who I am. Nowadays, I feel much stronger in my identity. I know what I want and the things that make me special.
Recently, I was hit on by a guy that used the company he worked for as his way to get attention. He worked for a very well known and highly admired company in this country. I thought to myself, how sad, this guy does not have enough self esteem to reveal his true personality, but instead he needs to hide behind his company in order to achieve validation. I hope he gains more self esteem and becomes delivered. If not, I just hope he never gets laid off, for his sake.